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I still don't know what I weigh. Finals were stressful. I ate WAY TOO MUCH! I feel so fat! I couldn't step on the scale this morning. It was too stressful; too early; too fat; too much. It would have made me depressed. It would have messed up my intake. It would have ruined my good day.
I can list excuses for hours.
I'm doing a liquid fast Monday. I'll weigh Monday. It'll drive me to not eat. The fast will make the number that tiny bit less scaring. I'll do it Monday.
Today wasn't great but it wasn't terrible. I had 1/3 of a bowl of oatmeal, less than 1/4 of a cranberry muffin, two bites each out of two holiday cookies, coffee, mtdew, a cup of vegetable soup, one serving of corn chips, a salad, and half a banana. I don't have calorie counts of several items but I can guesstimate that it came somewhere around 1500 calories give or take a couple hundred. It's above my goal, but the transition from what I eat at school is pretty drastic and it's only the first day.
The most current version of my plan is 1000 calories a day, 1 hour of exercise minimum five days a week, one liquid fast day per week, one cheat day a week with an absolute maximum of 2000 calories. Cheat days must NEVER follow fast days, however, fast days after cheat days are highly encouraged. I have to give myself Christmas; no calorie counting, no obsessing, just holiday cheer. I will update my weight each time I weigh in which will be at least twice a week. I have five weeks of break; my goal is fifteen pounds. Three pounds a week. Completely do-able.
It's not exactly ana but I think it's probably going to be healthier and easier to maintain.